Tracking Me – March 03, 2017

Well let’s see how are we all doing this morning. I think the expressions on everyone’s faces in their little paper doll I made them is quite accurate. That’s sort of fun to see. I drew most all of them with a smile or a grin. It’s good to know, at least I think, that I might be happy right now. Why do I only think it? Happy is a new feeling and is something that, while emulated, we didn’t feel in large bursts as a child. I would assimilate the feeling, enact it over the top of whatever I was actually feeling. Then there would be these small, tiny moments, normally standing in the sunshine, when my heart would race for just a quick moment and I’d inhale as though the world and air were new for the very first time ever in my whole life all at once! At the top of that breath I would feel…. elation, joy in the purest kind….

That’s not to say that I think people should be that purely happy all the time, but a less dramatic more content and everything is ok in the world sort of feeling would be a nice one to have on the occasions. As of late, since I returned to work, I have gone back to feeling very harried, and often times numbed to whats actually around me. While I’m at work I’m absolutely just a half a shade disassociated at all times. Pulled away and in just slightly so that I don’t get hurt. The less you care right? ha. wow that’s a jaded thought.

Sometimes the truth hurts I guess. *shrugs* Though that’s not to say I’m feeling hurt in the moment. More thoughtful I guess. It’s interesting when one can slip into an emotion or thought pattern and personality like a jacket. I wish it were that easy or that simple to do as it’s actually much more complex. The brain feels to shut down for the very briefest of moments and all of a sudden everything flutters back online. Or other times it’s just like switching to a new tab on an internet browser and it’s all taken care of at once. All the other tabs are still there and running and sometimes it can be confusing because you forget which browser tab you’re on… I digress.

I was talking about how I was feeling today. I think that’s been addressed now.

“… so you think….” — Lyra

((Riven)) – edited – Lyra’s rather wishing we had a boyfriend. Can’t say that we aren’t all wishing that *cept carbon he’s not into boys he keeps reminding me. He’d like a girlfriend… so would Asher and I realistically.* Anyway…. *shoo’s Lyra off*

Has it been mentioned that we are sorely distracted today? Got back from break and it’s been super bad. No one wants to work today. I (Riven) am trying to hold the boat together, get everyone pointed in the same direction and trying to work on loans all at once. I likely should have taken an FMLA day today except we’re trying really really hard to only use the hours not the days.

We of course didn’t get any sort of bonus since we were hired on in November and my mental health TANKED the exact same time… So being here as many hours as possible is important. Gotta keep bringing in them dollars. We have goals we’re trying to meet. Big ones. I have a feeling, if we are very lucky, that by the end of March here we will be in a good place. March is a time of changing and setting the course for the year. Last year and my Kickstarter proved that.

THINGS TO DO: IN 2017
-grab all clean enough sketches for website
-grab all completed pieces from the last two years for website
-Add more to portfolio cue to complete
-Dig out ALL sketch books
-Start taking pictures and cataloging ALL of them.
-compile art into folders on the computer
-load book information onto a sketchbook sales page
-See which images are good enough to offer as prints
-load prints onto a print sales page
-compile remaining images into art books in InDesign
-create as a PDF downloadable  for Amazon
-finish designs for WODBeast
-create WODBeast as a brand under Saberlins Lustrous Art
–reach out to local boxes and gym’s to see if they will sponsor a design ((and get their logo placed on the back of the shirt))
-launch KS for WODBeast to collect pre-orders
-take pre order batch to ScreenPrinter
-deliver WODBeast by hand and to US companies/places only.
-that should get me to about November >.>

((TIME 1023))
–Current Mood (Public Facing): Neutral, Good
–Current Real Mood: Brigher, semi-focused. Riven and Asher presiding.
–Worst Area: Scattered thoughts. Not all on board with one another today. We think we are but it’s out of sync. Not sure how to resolve.
–Loss of Time: Larger chunks. Something’s missing or not right but we’re out of sync with how we should be. Means that everything feels less real. Harder to make sense of what I’m supposed to be doing.
–Sleep: SHIT. Kept tossing and turning
–The 7:
Syl – anxious
Spitfyre – grumpy and hungry
Carbon – I’m pretty much a born bad ass.. These loans are still boring the second day around.
Asher – Meh, my hair looks like fire today, make up is fantabulous, and we’re dressed in all the right ways. We’re good. (this statement continues to be true.)
Riven – At the helm trying to pull strings today since everything is out of sync. It’s harder to do any sort of work this way.
Sylvia – Trying to be a sturdy shell.
Lyra – Awake and wanting to cause lots of trouble.
-Meds: Oxcarbazepine (300mg morning and night), Abrieva (2.5mg) just a bit ago. Aroma Therapy. mmmmm mint ^.^

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s