Tracking Me, February 11, 2017

So this is what happens when I don’t write forever, all of a sudden I feel like I have far too much to say and not nearly enough time to say it all. But when you have 7 minds however across all time do you ever have enough of that precious thing called Time.

“Time, ain’t nothing but time, its a verse with no rhyme and it all comes back to you.” — Thanks Bon Jovi.

Either way for the last two weeks I have not only been out of work but giving a valiant effort towards getting myself adjusted to the new Abilafy. (Or however the fuck you say it.) Within that time I have also had wonderful people reach out to me both in my stream as well as everyday life and across social media platforms. I have also reached out to others whom I felt may need encouragement in helping to #EndtheStigma and get the help that they need as well. This has proved incredibly fruitful.

Every time people come by my stream more are made aware of the 7 of us, and it helps to make life easier for all of us. We are starting to be known and in being known and acknowledge we can then work on what we need to. Rather than being hid in the background and only having Sylvia live. So that’s helpful.

There’s also been lots of things we’ve been able to think about over the course of the last few weeks. Like what type of relationships we are wanting to have and what types of relationships we think we deserve and whether or not we are thinking we are ready for an actual relationship. There are always possibilities but sometimes its hard for us to tell whether or not they are the good or right thing to be doing.

I’ve had suitors over the last year and one of the things I’m finding that I find more attractive than anything is the will to continue on and the drive to make life the most exciting adventure it can be. After all folks, we only get one go around of this so far as we can currently understand. Why would we waste time watching nothing but the fictional lives of others? Why not get out and into the world. Whether or not its rainy, or messy, or cold, or slightly dangerous white out conditions that burn the eyes and make you concentrate on just how much your eyes can actually dry out from not blinking… Just to name a few things.

With those things I started to look at many of the reasons that I hadn’t actually started a relationship with anyone. I for one, wasn’t done with my adventures.

But what did that mean exactly? Really it boiled down to the realizing of just how much I want an open and Poly lifestyle. I want to enjoy the time of others, I want to have a Primary, a someone that I look to a someone that I can rely on their time to spend with me. But I’m not…. ready to be completely monogamous yet either. I shouldn’t even say yet….  Nor, do I think I will ever be that way. Meaning in part, that whomever I do choose as a partner may have to recon with that or understand simply that it won’t work. Not that its any fault of any individual whom I may be thinking. It’s just something I’ve realized I need in my life. It’s something I’ve always needed as a part of my life up unto this point spare one man.

In addition to the decision of actively seeking a Polyamorous lifestyle, it also helps to put into focus the importance of everyone (of the 7) being on board with the idea of who a primary needs to be. Which… means that I am just ultimately more picky…. *headdesks*

But when it comes to a Partner shouldn’t we be fairly picky?

 

… RAMBLE RAMBLE RAMBLE.

Meds still have me nauseated, and its really hard to wake up. But we’ll see if I can get adjusted….. Either way work starts on Monday… Here we go!

 

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