Con Let-Down

Staring at my laptop screen as it started up, whirring slowly and sipping my Casey’s coffee I had that wonderful feeling of, “what the hell am I even doing here.”

It happens after every convention I go to. I can’t help it. After you spend a few days running at full speed ahead promoting your art, going to panels you actually want to be at, and seeing and looking at vendor booths, going to lunch and dinner with newly made friends, having access to the hotel hot tub… Why would I ever want to sit at my mundane job again?

Then I have to remind myself. Oh right, steady pay, benefits (however shitty they are) and the chance to put Caterpillar on my resume. If there was a way to work during the weekdays and be at conventions on the weekends. I’d do that for a full time job. I can imagine it would be EXHAUSTING though, which is I think the only downside. Though if nothing else I can work towards attending more conventions and definitely still work on my art in the “off time” that I have currently. Nothing will ever stop me from creating.

But it does always get me thinking, “Why can’t I do just what I love all the time and have it provide me with steady pay, benefits, and the sort of lifestyle I want to lead?”

When I have the time I love streaming my art on TwitchTV and have really started to connect to those who watch my stream. I love having them drop by and it’s great to get donations and especially commissions where I can build art right in front of the viewer.

Come the end of July and early August I may have a chance to go back to purely doing what I love, streaming art and creating it right in front of those who are purchasing it. At the end of July I will also have the chance to return to GenCon for my third consecutive year.

With two games in production *one of which can be found at and the other at* a coloring book that I hope to Kickstart later this year, and commissions I’m hoping and aiming to be able to do nothing but art full time by the beginning of 2016.

So while I sit here at my mundane job researching numbers, downloading parts, and making imagery for a company that doesn’t make games, I look towards the future with hope, promise and the acknowledgement of the hours it will take me to achieve my goals and reach my dreams.



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