Gather round good Children and listen to a tail. Of a girl, in a whirl, who thought she could do not but fail!
Her depression was deep and kept spiraling down, upon her face never a smile, but only ever a frown.
“Humbled to Depression,” she used to think. Realizing in never taking a compliment truly, even from herself, she lost track of what it was like to take pride in her work.
“Your stuff is great!” They’d say, “oh… its ok.” she’d reply, then shed go back to her dorm, and on her pillow she’d cry.
She didn’t see anything she was doing right, day in and day out. It caused her so much anxiety, for no matter how hard she tried she could only just pout.
Then one day while listening to song, she drew a beautiful line in a single smooth movement and suddenly realized what had been wrong!
“Look at that line!” She said, a smile tugging at her cheek, “I did that, in one little sweep!” Her eyes started to glitter, and in her middle she started to become excited. “Well look at that there, it’s amazing! To think I didn’t see it, didn’t care!”
She jumped up from her desk, she spun herself around. Realizing she could celebrate anything, turn her frown upside down! Who cared what they said or didn’t, compliments were too few and far between. Not to mention she had shunned anything said, not really seeing in herself what was there to be seen.
Hitting Ctrl+S, she slipped on her boots, and took herself out for coffee. This was the start of something new!
The air was crisp outside and as she smiled along her way, she realized she could rejoice and celebrate that too, oh what a great day!
This feeling felt so good, why had she denied herself it so long. “To humgle ones self into depression. It’s horrible it’s wrong.”
She was learning the value of her own spoken truth. That she with her own willpower, could shape her own world. A coffee ordered, being sipped kept in hand, she went back to her desk, and looked down with bright command.
“I’m going to do this more often,” she said to herself, “celebrate all my small victories, instead of belittling myself.” It took a bit of time, sometimes she just had to play along. But soon her positivity became her own truth her own song.
She now sings it loudly, still practicing to this day, knowing even if there’s rain clouds, that there’s sun on the way.
Be kind to yourself, start with the little things. “I look good in this suit,” “That sentence was perfect look at that thing!” “I have the best grades cause I gave it my all!” “I now know how to do a handstand, it’s ok if I fall. I’m learning what not to do, and with practice and time, I will soon be the MASTER!” Make this your own rhyme.
Know you can do, all you set your mind to. Celebrate even the starting of changing your mood. The little train that could, believed in himself, and just like the girl, you can have a smile and be proud of yourself. No matter how small our victories they are still ours alone. So Celebrate them my friend, keep them in your heart and your home.
I was that girl not too many years ago. I walked around with my shoulders back, but my head held low. I was trying to be “honest” with myself. Or tell myself that even though I was the best in my drawing classes that there were still so many others out there better than me. Which led to me not wanting to try as hard. Why push myself to success if there’s always going to be someone out there that’s better? The first time I looked at CGHub *when it still existed…* I cried gigantic big ol crocodile tears. Blubbering like a goober on my bed. Some of the people on there were as old as I was. Artistically they felt like they were light years older. It felt… Impossible.
I had to make the shift in realizing that 80% of what I was doing was an improper mental practice. The only person it was ultimately hurting and inhibiting was myself. So why continue to do it? It takes a lot of practice and it’s something I still have days that I need to work on it. As in the post “Relinquishing Rage,” I turned my thoughts and time to doing small but praise worthy practices. Understanding that you can get better by applying yourself to what you are doing and continuing to grow your education. My art has come a LONG way in the years since I drew that first beautiful line. And I look forward to continuing to learn and grow every day. Even with hiccups along the way.