Relinquishing Rage

Two days ago when the Pen to my Cintiq broke I went through a series of emotions. At the time it was hard to process anything other than, “For the love of all, did that really just happen?! Do I really not have a pen anymore? How am I going to do art?! What in the ever living! GAH!” In addition to a tirade of profanity so bad I dare not type it here for fear of embarrassing myself. Needless to say the rage was great with this one. However, not an hour or so later I was calm, relaxed, enjoying sketching and chatting with my room mate. Who bribed me back into civilization with a Pasta Pot (see delicious pasta, meat, sauce and extra cheese baked to perfection).

Two years ago this event would have left me debilitated mentally and emotionally for a couple of days.

Four years ago this event would have been so catastrophic I might not have created any art for a week at least. Feeling so overwhelmed by the unforeseen accident it would have spiraled me into a short term depression.

The question to myself becamse this: What changed or how did I evolve my thinking over the last few years so that it wasn’t an hour later that I was creating and feeling better? The next day it was as though the incident hadn’t occurred (other than the obvious lack of pen that had been ordered and should deliver today.) How had I relinquished my rage so quickly?

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Upon reflection I found that the first step I had taken was taking a good deep breath and sitting down. This seemed to help. Next I realized that it was just a piece of equipment, not something that I had created over hours and something that could in fact be “easily replaced.” All I had to do was order the thing. After about three attempts I got the order in on Amazon. See. Problem solved. Now all I had to do was wait for the object to get here.

Next step: SELF CARE

Too often when we get mad we want to hold onto that anger and just keep it with us for as long as possible. Lord knows why, it doesn’t serve us at all. Well, I can’t say that’s exactly true, there have been times where holding onto anger has been better than being reduced to a blubbering pile of tears. So I guess I’ll give it that….ANYWAY: taking a step back after something happens and retreating is often a good idea.

Which is exactly what I did. After hastily grabbing my sketchbook and a handful of writing/drawing utensils I retreated to my bedroom with Corgi’s in tow and onto my bed. Door Shut? Check. Pile Corgi’s on bed? Check. Calming music? Check. Deep breath?  Had to concentrate on that one to make it happen. Check.

After a couple of minutes of searching Pinterest I realized that everything I was looking to draw was easy. I needed a challenge for my mind to get it off of things. Nothing better for that than studies of hands and feet. The challenge allowed me to better my skills and give myself praise along the way. “Dang that hand looks awesome! I did that!” There’s a lot to be said about praising oneself for their efforts and accomplishments. It helps reinforce good and happy and in doing so starts to really push that shift in our overall state of being.

In order to get into the mindset I wanted to be in *calm, happy, relaxed* I had to know what sorts of things help me to get there.
-Corgi Snuggles
-Calming Music
-Not being around people or other sensory input that I don’t have control over
-Sketchbook (which has always been a bit of a security blanket for me)
-Favorite Writing Utensils

I didn’t learn how to do this overnight. As stated above a couple of years ago this whole situation could have been a lot worse. Pay attention to your anger. What triggers it? What helps you let go of it?

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Questions for the day:

-How do you handle your anger?
-Do you KNOW things that help you calm down and do you take advantage of that knowledge?
-What could you do better for yourself when you are angry?
-How do you turn a “catastrophe” into a better situation?

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One thought on “Relinquishing Rage

  1. -How do you handle your anger?
    –I have really bad anger issues stemming from abuse as a child but I tend to leave the area when I get angered. I can’t stay in a private place otherwise I lash out. So i go for a cup of coffee or smelling roses, or even to my local herb shop.

    -Do you KNOW things that help you calm down and do you take advantage of that knowledge?
    –I don’t think I really have a way to calm down….not that I noticed any way.

    -What could you do better for yourself when you are angry?
    –Avoiding the cause of the issue, which can be more of an issue.

    -How do you turn a “catastrophe” into a better situation?
    –By pouncing on my cat. -fluffs-

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