Sometimes we wake up. There’s cloud cover, its raining, we don’t feel like doing anything and just want to pull the covers back over our heads and go the hell to bed. In our minds the clouds will never burn off, we will never get to where we are going so why even try. Right? Not quite.
Even with all the awesome that I have been able to manifest in my life there are still mornings that I wake up and for lack of a better term, feel depressed. The awesome thing is that it’s normal and happens to everyone. It’s just all about how we react to the situations we are given.
This morning was absolutely one of those mornings. I had had an awesome night before, streaming with you awesome folk getting all sorts of props and compliments for the comic, crossfit, meeting awesome fit furs, going to dinner with my beautiful lady, spending time with my wonderful people whom I adore here at home, curled up with puppies and watching the last of “American Horror Story: Asylum” which ended in an oddly happy way. I spent the rest of the evening playing Diablo III with my handsome man who helped me start to gear up my Demon Hunter, and then off to a blissful sleep.
Still, sometimes hormones, chemicals and all that other shit want to get in our way and ruin the good mood that we are in. Luckily I’ve spent the better portion of the last about 5 years of my life figuring out how I want to handle those sorts of mornings. It was easy in E-burg when I had a yard, I could go out in the back with my cup of coffee, sit with my Corgi Mac in the sun and be better. Living in an apt for a few years was harder. I didn’t have that backyard sanctuary which sometimes meant loading everyone up in the car with my coffee and going to a local park. At least then I had a mountain “in my backyard” a two minute drive away, and could go for a hike.
This morning, I am absolutely one lucky lady. I got up, the sun was shining and I definitely thought about just pulling the covers over my head and telling the world to politely fuck itself. I just felt heavy, and sad, and didn’t want to do shit. Which I knew meant I was feeling down. I mean how could it not? But that’s just it. It’s hard to sometimes be able to take a step back and realize that the “Sad” we’re feeling isn’t actually OUR sad. Just the chemicals in our brain. Once it had been determined that it was purely just the chemicals in my head that were making me feel poopy I could dislodge myself from the comfort of my blankets and get up, get dressed, reheat some coffee in the microwave, and get out to the beautiful terraced backyard that my loves have.
I called my dad, who is an awesome man and who I greatly look to for how I want to be. He has been the embodiment of “Let it Go” before someone at Disney was even a fart in someones mind. It’s no big deal. That’s really what it all boils down to. I can either let those sorts of feelings absolutely and wholy consume me and be depressed, or I can do something to change all of it. Talking to my dad and hearing how he was doing helped. I sipped my coffee, I looked at the backyard, I started to pull vines from the ground to start to clear a new patio.
I sipped some more coffee ((bless the stuff. seriously. Nectar of the gods.))
The sun shone down on me ((luckily I tan.)) and you know what. I smiled. More and more and more.
I put some music on my phone, and listened to Rod Stewart sing oldies but goodies and just….was.
TLDR: We all make our own choices for whether or not we want to be happy or sad. Sometimes it can be some work. We might have to put into practice habits that will help trigger the happy. Harder still, we have to build those habits. But everyone can do it. Sometimes we might need a little medicinal aid, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Find what makes you happy. Keep doing it. Don’t let anything truly get you down and know that you are absolutely in control of how you want to feel at all times.